Dear Apartment Gym Users

Please take this little letter as a set of subtle hints on appropriate gym conduct.

First – please attire yourself appropriately. Jeans are not appropriate. Nor are plaid shorts. I would also appreciate it if you kept all parts of your stomach covered while you work out. If girls are not bearing bellies, men should not be bearing bellies. (Maybe attire is picky, but it’s so weird to see someone come in dressed do strangely for the gym.)

Second – there are signs everywhere so stop throwing your weights around! I get it, you lift large weights. You must be pretty awesome. However, I can’t notice how AWESOME you are when you chuck your 35lb dumbbells to the ground after every set. That shit reverbs to the apartments around the gym and makes everyone in the gym turn and look at you. And, no, we’re not looking because you’re awesome — it’s because it’s annoying.

Third – extended personal phone calls should not be conducted in the gym. You will get the evil eye from me when I can hear your OVER my music. I don’t care what Sally said nor do I care what little Billy’s teacher said about his exceptional social skills. Please don’t chat up your bestie while on the treadmill next to me.

Fourth – the gym is not a place for hollering. When you’re working hard, especially lifting, I totally understand that need for a little exertion breathing/grunting. But, you don’t have to yell about it. Just like the rule for phone talkers, if I can hear you over my loud music maybe you should check your ego at the door?

Fifth – WIPE DOWN YOUR MACHINE! You are sweaty and nasty. The apartment complex provides little sanitary wipes. Please use them! This is all.

 

I really don’t feel like I’m asking too much. People are weird in the apartment gym sometimes…

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen at your gym?

 

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Dear Apartment Gym Users

  1. EGL

    There is a guy in my neighborhood who insults himself while he works out. He is a really big guy, but he still gets there and tries really hard. He just also shouts at himself about how big he is. Tres awkward.

  2. Funny to read this today because at the gym this evening a man was CHEERING HIMSELF ON whilst on the elliptical next to me. I’m all for motivation, but yelling and cheering for yourself, then looking to see if anyone else notices the grande achievement you’ve made by staying on 5 minutes more is just ridiculous. This is not the Biggest Loser. This is an apartment gym.

  3. It would be best that some rules are imposed in these gyms, including specific ones. Some people just do not get it. If there are already several complaints then the management should call his attention. It could really be annoying to other users.

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